hahay

“A cup of coffee in my right hand and a cigarette on the left, drinking and puffing like I have never done it before.”

In one corner of a so called “tambayan” I sat, deeply thinking of things which imprisoned and crippled me. Things that once freed and put me up to exaltation, things that I once wished not to end. Fate was good to me, I’m pretty sure it was but is not, I hope it will.

I was lonely before, drastically. Something was missing, I was longing for something to happen which I don’t know. I tried to search what I desired. I was in the verge of breaking down. I was searching without knowing what I am really looking for. It was like a torture, tormented by destiny. I was slowly killed by my own being. Me, myself and I were having fights, a war within themselves, leave me suffering the aftermath! Or so I thought, the fight was over, ‘twas not.

For a long time I experienced unexplainable excruciating pain. As much I kept my physical side look happy and glowing. Inside me was hell. Life was unfair!

Time passed, I’ve felt no pain. No worries, no nothing. Yet, without knowing, there is fate, playing on me again. It turned my world upside down again. Trying to patch things up is as difficult or more as final exams.

I am devastated. Baffled by these feelings I could not clearly understand.

I couldn’t just explain. Who could?

I’m here in a so called “tambayan”.

“A cup of coffee in my right hand and a cigarette on the left, drinking and puffing like I have never done it before.”